“Oh! Lord! I took a look at the world. I find innumerable creatures subject to various kinds of troubles. I see all creatures beginning from a worm/insect subject to sufferings. Birds are caught and thrown into cages. Birds, cock, goats are tortured in several ways and killed for their meat. Many an animal is thrown in a cage in a circus, zoo and they are subject to various kinds of sufferings.

People harness a horse, camel, ox to a cart and torture it in different ways. While looking at these I feel saddened thinking, ‘how cruel it is’. At the same time the question arises in my mind, ‘Have I also taken these births and suffered such agonies? Or would I take such births in future and suffer such agonies?’

When Bhagavãn Ramana lived as a young boy - ‘Bãla Ramana’ - on top of Tiruvannamalai, an old lady adopting the path of serving Sadhus used to cook all types of lentils for them. Is not lentils healthy food? That old lady used to wonder and worry, ‘who would cook lentils (greens) for these devotees of God?’ It was this old lady who was born as a cow, in Gudiyãtham, in her subsequent birth and returned to Ramana. Bhagavãn named that cow as Lakshmi and showed deep compassion to her.

It was Madhawaswami who was a personal attendant to Bhagavãn Ramana who was born as a white peacock in the home of Queen of Baroda and later reached Bhagavãn Ramana.

While reading all these, astonishment coupled with fear strikes me. Even such people face rebirth. That too, they are born as a cow and a peacock. If such were the case with them then I know not what sort of a birth I would attain. You have blessed me with the rare human birth. Human birth is indeed high. There is no doubt about this. Even in such human birth so many are born blind; so many are physically handicapped; so many suffer from incurable diseases. While looking at them the thought strikes me, ‘thank God! I do not suffer these. I am normal in all ways. Without wasting this human birth I must spend my time in the thought of God.’ But, within a few days, no, within a few moments the mind changes.

There are many others who are atheists, aggressive, criticize and stubbornly hold only their own view as right. Fortunately you have not made me this way. I have indeed been saved! I do possess bhakti for you. Well! Instead of saying that I possess bhakti for you I feel that I possess the desire to have true bhakti. All think that I am devoted, virtuous and pure. I can deceive anyone. I can deceive even you. But, can I deceive my conscience? I do not like myself. When it is so how will you like me?

I really think that I must give up all my bad qualities. I make lots of resolutions that I should not behave badly. But, I know not where these resolutions fly away! My mind does not listen to anything that I say! What am I to do? Fear takes hold of me when I see persons who had been good sadhaks in the beginning but have today strayed away from their path. I fear if I would also become like them. Will I attain darshan of the Lord? Will I attain the state of Advaita? Will I become birthless? Do you know what I have learnt after having exerted concerted efforts all these days? - That nothing of these is in my hands!

Are you not compassionate? Have you not created all in the world only to attain Mukti? Listen to the secret that I have to tell you. If you have to take up a new ‘jiva’, purify him and take him unto yourself, you will have to begin your work from the start. But, knowingly or unknowingly I have come on to this path a little. Therefore, would not purifying me and helping me attain ‘poornatva’ (fullness) reduce your burden? So, instead of choosing a new ‘jiva’ to attain you, purify me who am half-baked and help me attain you. This will bestow peace on me as also reduce your burden. Don’t you think this is right? Well! Have you begun to pour you compassion?”

- Seeker

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